The line was five cars deep on the roadway and my car was just inside the parking lot. So, I thought I would slide into the next lane over. You know, to be helpful. It was just an added bonus that the lane I was sliding into was a little shorter. Y’all, there are five lanes in the carpool pickup at the middle school. Five. I may get frustrated some days waiting in line.
There is a general flow of the carpool lanes and most of the teachers who have parking lot duty follow the same order – lane one, lane two, lane three, etc. Today I was in lane four. The nice gentleman directing the carpool lanes allowed lane one, then lane two, then lane three…lane five – wait, what? What happened to four? Four comes before five. I thought to myself okay, that was a fluke – someone wasn’t paying attention. No y’all. He did that every single time.
I’m going to be super transparent here. I like things to be done in a certain manner. I believe there is a right and wrong way to do most everything. (I’m working on it, I promise.) I believe the first to arrive should be the first to be served. I believe the carpool lanes should go in numeral order. It frustrates me when another table is greeted at a restaurant when we were clearly seated first. It gets under my skin when the car that was two behind me ends up in front of me in the double drive thru at Chick-fil-A. Not to mention, when I’m in line in the drive thru at the bank and the lovely lady in the next lane over has finished her transaction before I can even get my deposit in the window.
As I was feeling the frustration rise today over a stupid carpool lane I realized something that I don’t want to admit. I have a problem. This is all about me. At the bank – you know, the example above – I chose to pull behind the car already at the window when there were two other open lanes. But I get upset when the other lane is served first. What sense does that make???
Here is what I heard loud and clear today. Adrian, it isn’t about you. You need to allow others to be first and you need to take the last seat. I’m getting ready to choke out the next sentence so be kind and pass no judgement as you read it. I can be selfish. Can’t we all? There are areas in my life where I need to be less self-absorbed and have more grace. Less consumed with time and be more present. I give of myself and I give of my time…when it’s convenient. That’s not always true, but it is true some of the time and I don’t want it to be. What I am learning is that I am called to have more grace and be more present at all times.
I am sure there will be plenty of opportunities to practice grace this week since I have acknowledged I need work…and because I’ve asked my heavenly daddy to point out places I should practice grace. This week I commit to slowing down, seeing people, and putting others first. Call me Gumby…this is stretching. 🙂
Warriors and Ashes 