One in…one out.

I’m talking about my feet. I’m going to be honest, I like to be in control…of everything. That’s a problem. We aren’t supposed to be in control of everything. But I can remember having this need to be in control since I was a little girl. That need led me down an inevitable path to anxiety. What’s another word for anxiety? Fear.

About 3 years ago I was laying in the pool – all by myself – and I distinctly heard “get out of the boat.” Excuse me…what? I knew in my heart, while laying on that float in the pool, God was telling me it was time to totally, completely, and without hesitation trust Him. “I do trust you, God,” I said aloud, almost defensively. I mean why does He think I don’t trust Him? Let’s see…my desire to control EVERYTHING simply means that I obviously don’t trust Him as I should.

I love the story of Peter walking on the water to meet Jesus. (Matthew 14:22-33 if you are unfamiliar or just want to read it again.) When the disciples saw Jesus walking toward their boat they were afraid, and he told them not to be afraid. Peter (the MSG says “suddenly bold”) told Jesus to call him out on the water to walk with him. When Jesus told him to come, it says Peter “jumped” out of the boat. Y’all, he was suddenly bold and he jumped out of the boat. He wasn’t afraid. What’s the opposite of fear? FAITH. Trust. Peter got out of the boat! Both feet…out of the boat.

Now, when he looked down and saw the waves churning he began to sink. Those “waves” may look like decisions about the future, the health of older parents, finances, parenting kids, a scary diagnosis, etc. Yeah, when I look at or think about those things I often feel myself starting to sink. We aren’t supposed to be in control of all the “things”. He wants us to trust Him. I want to trust Him. I do trust Him. Some days it is easier than others.

I don’t want to have one foot in, one foot out. I want to have both feet out of the boat – trusting Him…relinquishing control. It’s too much to carry anyway.